C O N F I D E N C E: ClassyBEACH Style (5 Tips) PART I
Confidence is not something people are born with.
Yes, there are people who seem to be more naturally confident than others. That's because they were exposed to a life that allowed them to be that way. Many of us aren't as confident as we think we are; I know this first hand.
I didn't grow up in a household where "putting yourself out there", so to speak, was encouraged. That probably explains my mom's feelings when I decided to take up modelling. Being somewhat sheltered as a kid, I wasn't exactly the most confident girl as I grew older. Low self-esteem took over as dear old dad made me QUITE aware that by 15 I'd looked like, "I'd already had my first child".
This isn't a knock against women who have children or plan to. There's a lot of mothers out there who look f*cking fantastic! But...which 15 year old wants to hear that B.S.???
Admittedly, I'm STILL working on my confidence. Confidence fluctuates at different stages of life. Although I've come a long way in 10 years, I'm only a few notches away on my internal Confident Bombshell Scale until I can fully say that I am without a doubt, CONFIDENT, in every way.
So, below are the things I've done to keep progressing. If you wanna step up your "YOU" Game, then keep reading and share it with a fellow beauty in your life who may need it.
1. DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD
Self-preservation is not something to be slacking on, girl! How are you ever going to be confident if you don't invest time into doing things that make you feel good about yourself? As simple as taking a bubble bath with a home made face mask you found on Pinterest, to a full-blown day at the spa/salon. What about treating yourself to that top you've been eyeing, or that new restaurant that opened up? Nothing wrong with a solo-date.
I spend time by myself all the time, and I love it! (That, or I just don't have enough friends). Which is something I'm getting to right now...
2. INVEST IN QUALITY ALONE TIME (IN PUBLIC)
Now, this was one I definitely took time to get over. I always hated being alone, especially in public places, and it was the biggest sure sign to me that I was uncomfortable being with myself, or that I was unsure of myself in the eyes of strangers. I have now learned to embrace not only the time I spend at home alone, but I love it when I go out on my own too!
Put on a great outift, do your make up and step out there! It is easier said than done, especially if you're someone who is introverted on top of lacking confidence. But I did it, and I continue to do it almost everyday. Being comfortable with yourself in public for extended periods of time without feeling the need to hurry up, get home and hide is a great first step to being the Classy Boss B*itch you were meant to be!
3. POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATIONS
No one is going to be around 24/7 telling you how great you are, how amazing your personality is or how hot those shorts make your a** and legs look. This step is about being your own cheerleader!
Daily affirmations are more than just looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself nice things (which is a fantastic first step, but it needs more). It also about knowing, and being subconsciously aware of who you are and what you are capable of without needing to repeat it to yourself or have anyone tell you.
This will not only make you more self aware of your positive attributes, but you will appreciate a compliment from someone even more. Instead of shying away and denying a compliment, you will embrace it! You KNOW that dress looks great on you, You KNOW how amazing your legs look in those heels, You KNOW that you're having a great hair day. You KNOW how helpful you are, or how great of a confidant or friend you are.
Once you know it and believe it (even if it takes repetition in the mirror for a while), and then someone else acknowledges it, then it becomes true.
4. START WORKING OUT AND EATING HEALTHY
If you haven't gotten on the Health and Exercise train yet, then get off your ass and let's GOOOOOO!
Working out isn't just about looking good. It's about feeling good. The looks will come later and should be a secondary focus. In fact, you'll look better and surprise yourself even faster if you don't make it the primary objective.
Trust me I know (8 years experience in fitness).
Do something good for your mind and for your body. Step it up a notch by eating a clean, healthy diet and you're more golden than the damn sun. Confidence radiates from the inside out and the outside in. Confidence is more than a feeling. It's a lifestyle that goes hand in hand with habits of self-love and proper self-care.
5. HIT THE DELETE BUTTON ON EVERY NEGATIVE NANCY IN YOUR LIFE
We all have one of those "friends", or someone we know who has nothing nice to say about what you like, what you do, what you think, what you want...it's a wonder how the hell people like this end up in our lives and an even bigger wonder why we keep them around for so long.
These people are poison to your life and they need to go....like...NOW. Forget about the Debbie Downer's. Its the Negative Nancies that you gotta watch for. A Debbie might give a sad reason as to why doing what you want could negatively affect something no one cares about. But Nancy will outright tell you that you're not good enough because neither is she.
Like...please, who needs that sh*t?
You sure dont! So keep your distance and don't let negative people who don't believe in themselves bring you down. Do them a favour, and be confident like the wish they could be. Show them how it's done and you might end up helping them.
BONUS
6. DO A PHOTO SHOOT!
I know, I know, I know...not everyone would be into this. But trust me when I say that my first photo shoot changed my life! Aside from obviously wanting to model professionally, I found that after my shoot, before I even saw the final edits; I felt more empowered than I'd ever been in my life! I felt accomplished; considering that I was a nervous wreck while I waited in the lobby and had always been very self conscious about being on camera.
A couple shots from my first shoot: Eames Alexander
Then I finally got to see the edits. I was ecstatic! I couldn't stop looking at them thinking, "Wow...is that really me?". There's nothing cocky about it, nor is it being full of yourself (although there isn't anything wrong with being a bit high chested). What it can provide more than anything else, is true insight. You will be able to see how other people see you; you will see yourself for how beautiful you are and how confident you should be!
The trick is finding a photographer who respects this as well, but that's a topic I will definitely touch on later.
To wrap this up; Everyone deserves to feel good about who they are. From the Inside out. Every girl deserves to feel untouchable, to feel powerful, beautiful and like a bad b*tch who won't falter and who won't be messed with.
..Or to feel like this guy; he doesn't give a f*ck, just sliding into greatness!
Kisses and Sea Breeze, (PART II coming soon....)
Theresa (Tessa)